I like to follow him all around the house when he’s getting ready for work in the morning, talking the entire time about the last phone conversation I had with my mom (or sister). Just asking.” or “Are you really going to wear those pants with that shirt? I turn the channel to HGTV (which he hates) and then I hide the remote. sneak in to the bathroom (don’t worry this is G-rated) and throw ice water over the top of the shower curtain. When you are really annoyed re-arrange the kitchen then forget to tell him where everything is. As soon as he gets home follow him around like a puppy chatting non-stop till he tells you to stop and catch your breath. As soon as he gets home ask him to take you somewhere to get something stupid like a soda.
Then I pretend I am sleeping when he gets ready for work in the morning and runs around crazy trying to find them. My favorite thing to do to annoy my husband is to giggle out loud at the book/blog/article that I am reading and try to read it to him. Such as: “Why are you putting the bowls on the top rack of the dishwasher? When he’s watching TV get the kids and dog’s wound up and running through the house 100 miles an hour screaming at the top of their lungs.
And let’s not forget the time he banned me from Craigslist! Paste his head onto other people’s bodies and post them on your blog. If you run out of questions about the show, start making random comments about your parents, his parents, the kids, etc. When he starts the show again, start talking again. Wait until your husband goes out of town for the weekend and repaint the bedroom pink. My guy HATES it when I clean the garage when he isn’t around.
That would be the sound of his toenails clicking together. I gave away Even Steven’s Bengals clock at our last garage sale, and he hasn’t stopped talking about that. Post pictures of him sitting on the toilet on your blog – or on your Facebook account. Wait until he’s in the middle of his favorite show and then ask him all sorts of banal questions about it. Makes them have warm fuzzy thoughts of you in the AM. I wait for him to go for his lazy afternoon nap on his day off….
Take a pic of him in his boxers and tell him there’s a contest called Husbands in Boxers – for the funniest photo and the prize is a trip to Vegas -and watch all hell brake loose – my hubby almost broke my hand trying to get the camera off me. While he’s watching Sunday football, tell him you have to run to the store (if he wants any dinner) and while you’re walking out the door, let him know that your daughter’s poopie diaper needs changing. Just asking.” or “Do you really want to pick that battle with the 3 year old today? After you shower, leave your hair in the drain – or even better, plastered onto the wall. He can’t turn the channel and I blame it on the kids. OOOOO it makes him MAD, but I laugh so hard every time.
The really frustrating part was that this went on for TWO WEEKS, and he never said a single word.
But when I saw we only had one roll of toilet paper left in the entire house, I hid it in my bedside table. But I’m guessing this technique will be annoying for a normal husband. Wait until he’s just about asleep and do my favorite party trick under the covers. I do the same thing with American Idol contestants. If he makes me watch something I don’t want to watch (like the first time he made me watch Star Wars), I ask a billion questions until he gets frustrated and turns it off.
For weeks he’d walk around with price tags on his shirts that said 25 cents. So far, my record is 2 minutes – and that’s after 10 years of practice. My husband loves it when I forget to put laundry in the dryer and bonus points if he’s out of undies and they are all sitting there wet and getting moldy (Beth L.) 12. every time he left the seat up he got a gross hairbrush full of hair 😀 ) 26.
And every garage sale, he’d come out with a laundry basket, find his things and carry them back into the house. I don’t have a single thing to say, but I still try to get the conversation to last a full 8 minutes. So – here’s the deal – I could only think of 8 things. But luckily I have some amazing readers to fill in the blanks for me! no matter where you are, immediately pretend to fall asleep (and snore….loudly)…bwahahaha – drives him nuts! Walk slowly in front of the TV during the big plays of the game on some unspecified “errand”. (worked so much better before the “pause live TV function”) (Molly B.) 11. Make sure your car is ALWAYS about a gas-hand-width above empty when he gets in to drive it someplace. only for me to tell him I actually asked for juice! Leave hair in his hair brush and leave it on the bathroom counter (this is how i got him trained on putting the toilet seat down after using it…
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